iAm Sorry, Carly
by Running From Destiny
Summary: It happened so quickly. One moment they were laughing, he was looking into her sparkling brown eyes. The next thing he knew, he awoke to the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor.
1. iAm Sorry, Carly

**Summary- **_It happened so quickly. One moment they were laughing, he was looking into her sparkling brown eyes. The next thing he knew, he awoke to the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor. _

**Creddie is the main thing, but there is a Seddie friendship moment. **

_He sat there, in the cemetery, staring at the round stone. Flowers lay at the foot of it, ranging from colors of pink to violet. The sixteen-year-old stared at the inscription, his mind being instinctively brought to that day… _

"C'mon Carly, it's Drake Bell _live_," sixteen-year-old Freddie Benson persisted his best friend Carly Shay. Carly shook her head.

"Freddie, I already told you I don't think it's a good idea. The roads are still icy, you know." Carly replied. "Spencer says he doesn't want me going out tonight."

Freddie looked at his feet for a moment, before looking up with his face in the familiar "Puppy-dog pout". Carly laughed, shaking her head.

"No, no, no!" She cried, laughing. "Not the puppy-dog pout!"

"_Please,_" Freddie begged, keeping the puppy dog pout on his face. Carly, sighed, her eyes alight with laughter.

"Fine, come back and get me at eight," she said, defeated. Freddie pumped his fists in the air.

"I'll be back in an hour," he said as he walked out the door.

_The boy had tears forming on his eyes, remembering that night. If he hadn't been so… so persistent, she'd probably be with him and Sam right now. They'd be sharing a smoothie, watching old episodes of their webcast iCarly, helping Spencer with a sculpture… but that wasn't the case… _

Freddie stood with his mouth agape as Carly stepped out of her apartment. She couldn't have looked more beautiful to him, her brunette hair pulled back in a pretty bun, make-up glittering across her face…

"Alright, let's go," Carly said, jolting him out of his thoughts. "Now you _promise _we'll be back by ten thirty?"

"Promise," Freddie said, nodding. "Now come on, I've got two front row seats with our names on them!"

Carly smiled, and the two of them ran down the hall to the elevators.

_He still remembered how beautiful she looked. The last way he saw her, the last memory he had of her. The two had been like bestfriends- and Sam was with them of course. He and Sam still got into those dumb arguments, but they were an inseparable trio. _

_Wiping the tears away with his sleeve, his mind was brought forcefully back to that terrible night. _

Carly and Freddie danced along with the crowd to the song "Makes me Happy". Freddie grabbed Carly by the waist and twirled her around, catching her as she hit the ground. The two laughed, bright lights flashing around them and people weaving their way between them.

"So why couldn't Sam come again?" Carly asked over the music. Freddie shrugged.

"She said she didn't want to, so she gave me the tickets," Freddie replied. Carly looked surprised.

"She gave _you _the tickets?"

"Well… she said if I wanted them you had to come too," Freddie grinned. Carly glared playfully at him. She slapped him in a friendly way.

"So that's the only reason you invited me?" Carly asked in a mock-offended voice. Freddie shrugged.

"Hey, who else would I have invited anyways?"

_Now he wished he would've invited _anyone _else. Anyone but her. Heck, why couldn't he have taken Ms. Briggs or something? But he didn't. And that caused this whole thing. He was so selfish. If he would've just listened to her. Why did he force her to come? He knew the roads were icy. He knew they'd be slippery._

Freddie drove at 50 MPH back toward the apartment building. He looked at the clock. 9:45. They had plenty of time.

"So was it worth it?" Freddie asked. Carly smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, thanks for inviting me. Even though it was by force," She grinned playfully, swatting him in the arm. Freddie smiled. The night had been perfect. He and Carly had actually spent some alone time together- even if they still weren't exactly dating. For now, he was content to be Carly's friend.

"Freddie…"

Freddie still couldn't believe how well it had gone. They still had a half an hour before they had to get home!

"Freddie!"

"What?" Freddie asked.

"Look out!"

Freddie turned, just in time to see blinding headlights and hear a loud truck horn.

_It happened so quickly. One moment they were laughing, he was looking into her sparkling brown eyes. The next thing he knew, he awoke to the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor._

Beep… beep… beep…

Such a soothing rhythm. Freddie's brown eyes remained closed peacefully, simply listening to the sound. Beep… beep… beep…

Slowly his eyes flickered open, and he let out a soft groan. Immediately he felt something slam into him, almost like a… hug?

"Oh thank goodness you're awake!"

Freddie couldn't believe who it was hugging him. It was his other best friend, Sam. Her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and bloodshot for staying awake so long. Her long blonde hair was a huge mess.

"Wha… what happened?" Freddie asked in a weak voice. Sam pulled back, looking Freddie in the eye.

"You and Carly… there was an accident. You were hit by a semi-truck," Sam whispered. "Your mom's out there right now, talking with one of the nurses."

Freddie nodded, still dazed however. Then it hit him.

"Carly…?" He whispered. Sam looked away, letting out a soft sob. Freddie immediately knew what had happened.

He let the tears fall down his face as well.

_Now he stared at the gravestone, the words across it seeming to scream at him _

_Carly Shay_

_1994-2010 _

_Loving daughter_

_Trusted sister_

_Loyal friend_

_The tears appeared on his face, just as they had the day in the hospital. They stained the ground in front of the tombstone. Three words escaped his lips in the softest whisper that was carried off by the wind. _

"_I'm sorry, Carly."_


	2. iNeed You, Carly

**Wow, so many reviews! Sorry I haven't updated. Just to answer a question, yeah I did get the idea while watching Raise Your Voice. I hope it didn't seem too much alike to that scene in the movie though. **

**This might be the last chapter, but I might have one more after this. R&R please! Also, this chapter is very depressing, so read at your own risk. And again, any Seddie in this chapter is also friendship, but there's a bunch of friendship moments between the two of them.**

_The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love. And be loved in return. _

_- Moulin Rogue, Nature Boy by David Bowie_

_Come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you_

_Until my dying day_

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Now it was two months after the accident. Freddie had the scars, physically and emotionally. Things were different. iCarly had been cancelled directly after... what happened. Freddie's life had become monotonous and empty. He'd wake up, go to school, come home and just sit in his room. Mrs. Benson, of course, was frantic with worry.

Spencer... well, Freddie had avoided Spencer ever since the accident. He could never face him. It was his fault that Spencer's little sister died. Freddie was sure that there was a grudge between them now. In fact, he hadn't even seen Spencer leave his apartment yet either.

Sam... wow, were things different with her. She didn't speak with him often, but he could tell that she was constantly glancing at him, thinking of what to say. Her insults had lightened up on him, and were much more half-hearted then usual. Freddie was confused and actually a little annoyed by her constant sympathy toward him. She didn't understand. No one understood.

Now, sitting alone in his room, Freddie found himself staring at an old picture of him, Carly and Sam. He was in the middle, with Carly on his right and Sam on his left. They all were standing in the iCarly studio, their arms around each others' backs. It was an old picture, probably taken when they were fourteen, yet nothing seemed different. It was as if he could stare at that picture and just go back in time. Back to where things were normal.

He barely noticed when his mother knocked on his bedroom door. He was jolted out of his memory when he heard the hinges on the door squeak as they opened. He only turned when he heard his mom's voice.

"Freddie, Sam's here to see you."

_Sam? _What could she possibly want? Had Sam ever even been to his apartment? Well, other then the times that she dragged him forcefully out of it, he doubted it. Freddie looked over at Sam. Her head was low, her blonde hair falling over her face slightly. Mrs. Benson left the room as silently as she had arrived.

Silence stretched between the two of them for a few moments. Sam was the one to break it. "Hey."

"Hi," Freddie muttered in response. Sam walked toward him and sat beside him on the bed. Freddie didn't care that he didn't invite her to sit with him. It felt a little nice to not be alone for once.

Again with the awkward silence. The two kept glancing at each other, neither speaking a word. Freddie's gaze continued to move from Sam to his feet. The only noise in the room was the ticking of the clock.

Sam broke the silence again. The four words she spoke created enough tension to cut with a butter knife.

"It wasn't your fault."

Freddie winced as if Sam had slapped him. His gaze remained glued to his feet, and though he couldn't see her face, he knew Sam's were too. Freddie figured that he had to speak. He didn't want to hear Sam's lies to boost him up.

"Yes it was." He didn't look at her as he said the words, his gaze now moving to the wall.

He was shocked to feel Sam punch him in the arm. Hard. Freddie jumped off the bed, clutching his arm. He had no idea how hard Sam could punch. Suddenly he felt bad for Gibby.

"What was that for?" Freddie asked through gritted teeth.

"For acting like an idiot," Sam replied as she stood up too. "Quit blaming yourself, Freddie! It was an accident."

Something about the word accident made Freddie grow angry. His eyes grew narrow as he replied. "Just an accident? Just an _accident_?! Sam, this isn't like... like breaking my mom's prized vase or something. I _killed _someone. I took their life away! I forced Carly to come out with me that night. I persuaded her that we'd have a good time!" He laughed, his laugh sounding a little crazed. "What a good time we had, right? I'm sure the guy in the semi-truch was just laughing his head off!"

Freddie took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. He looked at Sam's stunned and slightly hurt expression, and suddenly he felt bad. Sam was the only real friend he had left, and here he was hurting her.

"Sam... I'm sorry," Freddie said softly. Sam just shook her head.

"Don't worry about it," she replied, patting the spot beside her on the bed. Freddie again sat down. He took a deep breath.

"It's just... I feel like I killed Carly. In fact, I know I did. I wish I hadn't forced her to come with me that night." He sighed. "If I could go back in time just once, I'd go back to that day and make sure we didn't go anywhere."

Sam didn't say anything for a moment. Again Freddie felt bad, this time for throwing his personal problems right onto her. He was surprised when Sam spoke again.

"Look, this isn't your fault. There are plenty of people at fault here," Sam said. Freddie shook his head.

"Name one."

"Me." Freddie looked at Sam, his face revealing his surprise. Now it was Sam's turn to continue.

"I gave you the tickets, didn't I? I told you to go have a good time with Carly. Blame the semi-truck driver for hitting the car if you want. Heck, blame the people in charge of clearing ice of the road. Don't blame yourself."

Never in his life had Freddie thought he'd hear Sam say something so... deep. He was surprised at her words, at this new side he was seeing in her. He had to admit, it felt good to have a shoulder to cry on. Literally. For a few moments later, both of them had tears streaming down their cheeks. They wrapped each other in a hug.

* * *

_Together the two stood, staring down at the gray gravestone before them. Both wore black, a suitable color. It was the three-month anniversary of that horrible day. The day Freddie would stare into Carly's eyes for the last time. The day Sam would get bailed out by Carly the last time. It was over. All over. _

_They didn't notice the young man come up behind them. They didn't hear his car door close. In fact, they didn't move until they felt two strong hands on their shoulders. Both Sam and Freddie looked up into the tear-filled eyes of Spencer. _

_Again they wrapped each other in a hug, teardrops staining the area by the grave. _


	3. Author's Note plus a new story

Thanks to all the people who read and reviewed this story. I was stunned by how many people liked it and were moved by it. So I will be writing another iCarly story (This one will also be Creddie with a little bit of Jam). Here's the information about it plus a sneak peak for it.

iAm Afraid of the Dark

It was supposed to be the greatest field trip ever. A week in the newly opened Hunter National Park - no teachers, no school and no learning. Carly, Sam and Freddie looked forward to shooting the next iCarly inside the park. That is, until _it _happened. Until Carly and Freddie got lost in the wilderness. Surrounded by bears, wolves and more, the two will need to work together to stay alive and make it home.

Rated: T for room, mainly because of a little blood

Genre: Adventure/Suspense with Romance as well

Status: In Progress; will be up soon

Pairings: Creddie, minor Jam

_"Do you think it can hear us?"_

Carly's voice came out so soft that she doubted Freddie heard her. Her breath came out in shaky, frightened gasps as she stared at the monstrous creature before them. The medium-sized rock she and Freddie hid behind did not feel nearly big enough. The sight of the enormous grizzly bear before her was enough to make her cringe in fright. Carly glanced at Freddie. He looked just about as scared as she was, with eyes as wide as a deer in the headlights.

"I-I don't know," Freddie breathed in response, gulping quietly. "But I don't wanna find out."

"Well what do we do?" Carly hissed quietly. Freddie took a deep breath.

"We need to run."

To Carly it sounded as if Freddie had just suggested they commit suicide. In fact, she was almost certain that was what he was saying. Carly was no genius, but even she knew that it was impossible to outrun a grizzly bear. Freddie must've caught her look, for he continued to speak.

"Please trust me," Freddie said softly. "I won't let it hurt you."

Carly took a deep breath, preparing to speak again. But one desperate look from Freddie stopped her. He'd gotten her this far, she knew she'd have to trust him. Sighing, Carly nodded to say she'd agree.

Freddie smiled at her reassuringly. "Alright, on the count of three, I want you to run like you've never run before. Promise me that you won't look back." Again he gazed at her with his big brown eyes. "Promise?"

Carly nodded. What else could she do? The bear was there, barely five feet away from them. If they didn't act fast, it would discover them. Carly was not willing to find out if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"One."

This was it. Carly cast Freddie a glance, their brown eyes locking together. She found all the reassurance she needed. In Freddie's eyes she found hope.

"Two."

Carly tensed, her gaze not moving from Freddie's. Her breathing quickened, her heart drumming in her chest. She gulped, prepared for the worst.

"Three. Run!"

She sprang, racing away from the bear. Carly felt her feet pounding hard on the ground. The grass scratched at her legs. She felt so exposed, for there was no cover except for one tree. A tree that seemed so far away. From behind her the grizzly bear roared. But she trusted Freddie, and did not look back. The tree was so close. It was her only refuge from the terrifying beast behind her.

Carly was now certain that the bear was chasing them. She could hear it's ragged breaths, but that only made her push harder and faster. Carly felt the desperate need to look back and check on Freddie, but for some reason she didn't. Something held her back.

It felt like years had gone by, but soon Carly felt the rough bark of the tree on her hands. Gasping with relief, she did the only thing that came to mind. Climb. Carly started climbing like a monkey would, surprisingly not missing a step. She grabbed a large branch above her head, pulled herself up, and sat down. The branch groaned but did not crack.

Carly hadn't realized that her eyes were closed, and she quickly opened them. Breathing a sigh of relief, Carly looked beside her, expecting to see Freddie grinning back at her. But he wasn't there. Panicking now, Carly scanned the endless grassland before her. No Freddie. But she noticed that the bear had stopped, and was now pawing and growling at something on the ground a few yards away. Squinting, Carly tried to see what it was doing. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the fabric from Freddie's blue plaid t-shirt in its mouth.

She couldn't breathe. Had the bear gotten Freddie? No... it couldn't have. Not Freddie.

"Freddie!" Carly screamed. "Freddie! Freddie hurry! Get over here."

She knew she needed to stop fooling herself, but she couldn't. The bear didn't even hear her desperate cries, and if it did, it paid no notice. Only when the bear started to walk away did Carly let out a desperate sob. Had she lost Freddie?

**So, there's the sneak peak. It's only a rough draft of that part of the story, so this chapter (if I choose to include it) will have some tweaking up to do. R&R, and tell me what you think of this new story idea too. **


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